The Life of a Blood Red Fish
"Any dead fish can float down stream. Go against the flow." This was on a mousepad I had years ago. It has stuck with me all this time. There is such great truth in it and truth that I am reminded of every time I watch the opening credits of The Chosen. Whether you are a fan or not, you have to admit the visual of 13 teal fish swimming in the opposite direction of all the gray fish is perfect for how we as Christians are to live.
I was thinking on this while driving to work this morning. I was overwhelmed with thoughts about the release of my book. I have been struggling with the usual Gini-stuff in my head. "What if it isn't good enough?" "What if people point out all the errors?" "What if no one likes it?" "What if no one reads it?" These thoughts have plagued me for the last two weeks, since I got the first copy in my hands.
There was a song playing on the radio as usual that was perfect for the moment. That song is - Who Am I by Casting Crowns. The words that cut to my heart are below.
'
Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?
Not because of who I am
But because of what you've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who you are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still you hear me when I'm calling
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
And you've told me who I am
I am yours
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
I am yours.
Every time I hear this song I am brought to tears, but today it totally wrecked me. All the fear I had over the book was calmed in these simple words Whom shall I fear? I am yours.
The more I sang and praised and cried the more I came to realize, it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks about this book. God gave me the story. He trusted it to me. ME, a nobody. I'm not a writer. I'm not smart. I'm not clever. I am a loner who nobody really talks to. He gave it to me, and what I do with it from this point will either be honoring to Him or a selfish endeavor. God forbid it be the latter!
I arrived at work with red eyes and a stuffy nose and sat in my car for a while just in awe of God's timing, again. When you realize that the end result of such an amazing gift is not up to you, the fear vanishes. The words of my sister came to mind, "If just one person comes to know God because of reading this story, then that will be worth it." I was then reminded of Dallas Jenkins, creator of The Chosen, and his weekly reminder "It is not up to you to feed the 5,000. You only need to bring your loaves and fish." This book is my loaves and fish. The master will feed as many as HE sees fit. If it is 1 or 500,000, who am I to say?
So what does this have to do with fish? Obviously the correlation between The Chosen and the mousepad are clear, but as I thought about fish I was reminded of a fish that actually does go against the flow, the salmon. The more I thought about the life cycle of a salmon the more I could see just how similar it is to the life of a Christian. We are called by His name and washed in His blood. The salmon is blood red in color even the flesh inside is red. No part of this fish escapes this coloring. The same with the Christian. We are the representatives of Christ here on earth. Our lives inside and out are to reflect who HE is.
The salmon also spends his adult life swimming home where he reproduces more of his kind. As Christians we too are swimming home. This isn't where we belong and when you know that home is the destination and reproducing more Christians is the goal then it makes the swim against the current a mission. The salmon does what it does because it is who God designed it to be. Likewise Christians beget other Christians because it is who God called us to be.
We are swimming against a wild current every day that wants to wash us back downstream. We swim past bears, and up rocky rapids with one thing on our minds - returning home where we can be with our Creator.
The fish has long been a symbol of the followers of Jesus. In fact it was from the beginning. The word became an acronym describing Jesus. Each letter of the greek word for fish, IXTHUS, was the first letter of a name for Jesus. I hope I can remember it correctly. Jesus Christ God's Son Savior (the TH is one letter in greek). They used to draw a simple fish when they had to meet in secret. It is no wonder that Jesus told the disciples he would make them fishers of men. The fact that he chose fishermen to be one third of his group of twelve is just more of this same wonderful picture we have in scripture.
Did God intend for us to see the parallels between the salmon and our Christian walk? I don't know, but maybe He created them just so He could reveal this to me and you in an obscure blog. Kind of makes you feel special, doesn't it?
One of the great things that The Chosen has given to the world is a way to really see Jesus like I imagine him, human and someone by my side at all times. When I saw the first episode for the first time I was critical of the accents, and having been raised with scripture I was a bit critical of the writing as well. That didn't stop Dallas from continuing to bring his loaves and fish. God had given him this dream, this purpose and provided an impossible way for it to happen. He was criticized constantly and still is, but he continues to bring his loaves and fish and give God the glory. If you would have told me this show would be loved globally after I watched that first episode, I would have laughed in your face.
Imagine Jesus at the edge of the river watching you struggle to swim against the flow. Imagine Jesus being the encouragement you need all along the way. Imagine Jesus calling out to you, "keep your eyes on me." Imagine Jesus causing the bear to slip on the rocks just as it is about to grab you and have you for lunch. Imagine it because it is true. These are all pictures of who Jesus is in our lives daily. He never promised us an easy journey, just that it would be rewarding when it was over.
This fish (me) at times floated downstream because it was easier. But I realized that floating downstream produces nothing. It is an empty meaningless life. When God gave me words to write this blog, He started a work in me that lead me to the writing of a book. He provided the subject matter and even developed the story as we walked and talked. I can't explain it, but this isn't my book. This isn't my blog. This is my loaves and fish and the master will bring about HIS will.
Onward Fish! We have rapids to swim, bears to dodge and a peaceful resting place at the end of this journey. Tally Ho!
Matthew 4:19 "Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”
Matthew 14:20 "And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve baskets full of broken pieces that were left over."
Philippians 3:13-14 "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Comentarios