Learning Valuable Lessons from Long Forgotten Scars
Sunday is always a busy day for me. It is the day I clean house, prepare for my week, do laundry and reflect on everything God has done for me. I went to the grocery store after my trip to the laundromat, as is my normal routine. It is always a sobering moment for me to think there are those even in this country who struggle to make enough money to feed themselves these days. Through all of my struggles, God has taught me a couple of valuable lessons. First, He will never let me starve. He will provide all that I need, when I need it. Second, I don't need as much as I have always thought that I need. I can do with less and not feel like I am lacking in any way.
The second was actually an easier concept to grasp than the first. A few years ago I lost quite a bit of weight. I changed one small thing at a time and made it a habit and then moved on to the next small thing until I had made a of life of different habits. One of the things I changed was not eating a lot at any one meal. I put my food on small plates and only took what looked like it could fit inside of a circle the size of my fist. This helped me to understand that I was over eating without realizing. So when I go grocery shopping I shop for my smaller appetite. It is amazing what control food has over your mind.
Food is not the only thing that holds sway over your mind. Memories are a big influence. Sometimes we aren't even aware that we are behaving a certain way on instinct. Memories are like scratches in an old record. They can either get you stuck in a rut where you just repeat the same nonsense day in and day out or they can cause your life to skip over some pretty great moments out of fear.
I was just leaving the parking lot at the store and turned up the tunes on my radio. I have said it before, God uses music and the words of certain songs at just the right time to meet us where we are and share with us intimate messages for our ears only. That happened again this morning. The strange thing was, as I listened to this tune I was reminded of a time when I was in grade school. Something I had not thought about in ages. I believe God brought it to mind because He needed me to understand who I am.
The few words of the song that caused this memory to surface were these:
I'm Already Loved
I'm Already Chosen
Instantly my mind went back to those many times in grade school where teams were picked for kickball, dodge ball or tag. I was the kid who was not only picked last, but rarely picked at all. Most of the time if they didn't say my name I would just walk away and go sit somewhere by myself. But on occasion the "captain" would say my name, so I would join the team. I never played with all my heart because I never felt I would have any kind of an impact. In the line up, I was last. In tag, I was always the first to be tagged. In dodge ball the ball was thrown at my head. The laughter at my failures was loud. By the end of my sixth grade year, I resigned myself to spending those recess times alone waiting for the bell, or hanging out with the special ed class trying to understand what they were saying. Not the greatest of memories.
So you can imagine my surprise when these words came over the radio and God's spirit moved me to remember those times. He reminded me that people do not see our worth. They only see what we can do for them. God sees who we are deep down inside. He knows us because He created us. Everything we are is because of HIS design. He was reminding me that I am ALREADY loved. I am ALREADY chosen. I don't need to seek approval from people. I don't need to hope that someone chooses me. I just need to be who He has called me to be, with all my flaws and all of my failures.
Imagine Jesus being the captain of the team. You are standing there with all of these other people, pastors, teachers, prophets, great singers, amazing musicians, and its YOUR name He calls before anyone else. "Me?" you say puzzled as you try to blend into the back row. "You!" he says. You point at your chest in disbelief. "Yes, you! I need you on my team. We have lots to do, and I know what you can do even if you don't. Are you in?" A long pause as you look around "But nobody, likes me" you say. "Silly girl. I love you." He smiles and takes your hand. Together you walk away from all of these people who are far more qualified for everything. You turn to look at them and He says, "Just look at me. I'm all you need. I am enough."
There are many people out in this world, who feel this same way. They have this same memories or worse. Are you one of those? If you are a child of the most high God, then don't feel that way. He Chose you, because He knows what you are capable of. He has prepared you through all the ups and downs and sideways things in your life to be ready for the task ahead. There will be challenges, wins and losses. The greatest challenge will be to stay in HIS will. Do not waiver. Do not look to see what others are accomplishing. Your task might not be monumental, but it is by His design, perfect for your skillset. Skills that He put in you.
He is Jireh. He is ENOUGH!
The Apostles must have felt similarly, but they changed the world because Jesus showed them just how much they were loved and He chose them for that task. He knew them intimately and the things they would have to endure. He knew they would struggle, but He never left them alone. They were ordinary flawed men and women who walked with the savior. Imagine Jesus calling their names. Imagine Jesus calling your name. Staying grounded in Him is what helped the Apostles to change the world. It is the same power that lives inside of every believer.
What is your role in this life? Whatever it is, God has given you ENOUGH to handle it all. He has given you His Spirit. He is ENOUGH!
I hope you enjoy the song. Close your eyes and listen to God speak to you. We are never alone when we are part of God's family and are doing His will.
Genesis 22:13-14 "Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The Lord Will Provide. And to this day it is said, “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”
Ephesians 1:11-14 "In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory."
1 John 4:10 "This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."
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